Have you ever thought to yourself, I should write a book? After being dragged through yet another deposition and being asked the same ole’ questions and giving the same ole’ answers, I thought to myself, “I’ve told this story so many times, I should write a book!” And so I did.Some ask if my life has changed since The Devil in the Deal was published. I’m not sure how, but it has. It has certainly gotten better. Through my writing, I’ve learned the process of never giving up after having spent most of my life feeling helpless.Since The Devil in the Deal, I’ve continued writing. I can’t not write! There are just too many words at the tips of my fingers that need to get on paper and too many stories in my head to leave untold.
Whittling my book down to what it’s about, I come up with two words: Learned Helplessness. My life wasn’t all bad, but it’s far better now. Although I have no complaints, there was a time when most of my days were spent living through horrifying experiences–experiences that groomed me to believe I was helpless. Learned helplessness destroys your self-esteem and leads to making bad choices in your life instead of good ones.
Whenever I cried out for help, no one listened. According to one Catholic nun, I was just a bad little girl who didn’t respect her parents. My teachers didn’t want to get involved: How can she be telling the truth? Such things just couldn’t possibly have happened in my family. My aunts and uncles and even my grandparents knew what was going on, but they didn’t know what to do. No one knew what to do; so I became helpless.
I still get excited talking about my book and knowing people are listening! It’s an incredible story involving crime and passion and love and hate. It’s the tale of a young, naive girl who fell into the hands of opulence beyond her wildest dreams and then watched it all slip through the fingers of the people who gave it to her. All she could do was enjoy the ride while it lasted. And in the end, when the world came crashing down around us, I was the lone survivor. I’d won.
We’ve all got a story to tell, that’s for sure. The Devil in the Deal is my story. And perhaps, it’s your story, too.
